Why This Home Is Practically a Stand-Up Comedy Routine with Granite Countertops. Welcome to the only home in Breinigsville bold enough to say, “Yes, I have 4,200 sq ft of upgraded perfection—and I’m not afraid to flaunt it” From porcelain floors that shimmer like water (but don’t get your socks wet), to a kitchen so modern it practically cooks for you—this home isn’t just move-in ready... it’s strut-in-and-start-bragging ready. Forget HOA fees—this beauty is in Parkland School District *with no HOA drama*. That’s like getting a surprise tax refund check every month without doing your taxes. Still wondering? We’ve got: - FIOS internet with **2 gigabits of speed**, which means your house can now stream, work, and game like it’s auditioning for a tech commercial. - Zero leaf cleanup (because those tall trees? Gone. You’re welcome.) - Driving distance to Air Products HQ, Trexlertown Mall, Hamilton Crossing—basically, you’ll be *close to everything except excuses*. So go ahead. Save this listing. Stalk it a little. But don’t wait too long—this is a **Black Friday-in-July deal**, and it already knows it’s the main character.